From East to West

Images and music can be powerful tools in your spiritual growth. Today, I was listening to a song by Casting Crowns, East to West. I thought about Jesus hanging on that cross, bloody, beaten, dying. Dying for my sins, my sinfulness. His blood dripping off of Him, sanctifying the ground, sanctifying me. Washing away the sins and transgressions.

I was crushed, crushed to the ground. Heavy weight would not let me stand. The weight of shame, guilt, sorrow. I was on my knees, bent at the waist. I tried to lift my head and look again at my Savior on the cross. I couldn't do it, the weight was too great. I then thought of Him risen, risen in all His glory, bathed in white, strong, almost blinding white light. I am able to lift my head a bit now. There He is! In white, radiance streaming forward and past me. Almost hot, almost too much to look at. Almost too much to bear. How could I have become the man that I was? This is too much for me. I am able to get up off my knee just a  little. The weight is heavy, it is sapping all my strength, my resources.

He reaches His hand to me. Mine reaches toward Him. I am suddenly able to stand.................

Staying in Touch

Recovery cannot happen in a vacuum. There is much said in the recovery community about the importance of staying in touch. We are lucky in this day and age. We have many tools at our disposal. Texts, email and cell phones have made it simple to reach out to others. Social networking sites have made it easy to share our feelings, give encouragement and exchange ideas with each other.

I belong to a great group at my church, Grace Church in Middleburg Hts., Ohio. This group, 12 Steps for Christian Men, part of the Recovery Ministry at Grace Church, has an active calling list. We try to call just to say hello, to let others know we are praying for them and just simply to keep in touch.

As I have said in previous posts, I am looking to do things different this time. I have failed in doing things my way. What has helped to keep me sober has been reaching out. I find that when I feel lonely, depressed and isolated a call or a text to someone makes me feel just a touch better. I only hope my call to someone else benefits them also.

If you are not reaching out to others try it. Call, email or text at least 4 people a day. This will take you just that much farther from the drink.

Lemonade

I am a sucker for lemonade, a complete total sucker. I don’t care whether it is hand squeezed or the powdered type, I just love lemonade. This is a great thing for me. My addictions have given me so many lemons I will be squeezing for quite a while. Of course, my pile of lemons also grows by life on life’s terms.

The great state where I live and one of its counties have decided that I should not drive for a while and I am still not done with it all. I still have a couple more dates with judges. I know right now that they will not be happy with my driving record or the reasons I will be seeing them but you know what? Those things are my past and even though I will be paying for the dance, it is the past. I have been looking at this as a nudge, no actually a board to the head from my Higher Power. This is the time to take a deep breath, keep working steps and continue on a journey. My life is better already.

Walk? Hell yea!! I can walk to the stores I need. I even have a movie theater just blocks away from my home.. Any night of the week I can walk to a meeting. Why just last Saturday I walked to a meeting at a church. When I came out of the meeting it was about 15 degrees out with a clear sky. I have always been a sucker for ecclesiastical spaces and it was just cool walking through the still church courtyard with the constellations shining brightly down on me. A little meditation time. My Higher Power, me and His creation. A little more than 12 steps home but not many more. Very tasty lemonade indeed.