Hello There, I'm a Drunk and Addict

So you've seen my kind before, I'm positive of that. We are all over. Some might be in your family. Some are in your workplace. It cuts all peoples equally. I am a drunk and an addict.

I heard the testimony of my friend the other day. Cool stuff. He was bad, bad off. Like me. He went to Teen Challenge for a year. Studied, straightened up, cleaned up. I am jealous. My last use was 2 nights ago. I had some beer to calm me down. The night before, actually earlier that morning, I finished a binge with a "side dish."

I was baptized and also proclaimed membership in my local church. Cool stuff. I was told the evil one would come after me hard and fast.......that he did. Or was that just the addictive part of my brain taking a hold of another excuse and running amok as usual.

Unanswered prayers. On my Twitter feed I followed a link to Francis Chan talking about unanswered prayers. I pray. I pray a lot. God gives and I destroy. Now that my life is a shambled mess, I am seeking God more than ever.

Thank you father for all the chances I have been given even though I have blown them all. Let me look to you and keep on believing and loving. Do not let my addictions destroy that small glow that you have kept in my soul.